Saturday, June 28

oh it hurts to always have to be honest with the one that you love

i tried (again). and i'm getting sick of being used. silence does not make it better. it keeps boiling and growing. it's sad that it's come to this, but i'm sick of standing by. if i open my mouth to voice my views they wont be pretty. so here i sit, waiting. and forgetting. and surpressing. and not caring.



"and keeping quiet is hard cause you can't keep a secret... at least pretend you didn't want to get caught. we're consentrated on falling apart. we were contenders, now throwing the fights. i just want to believe...i just want to believe..i just want to believe.. in us."

Tuesday, June 24

i'm just bad news, bad news, bad news

I WANT A PUPPY! I WANT A PUPPY! I WANT A PUPPY! I WANT
A PUPPY! I WANT A PUPPY! I WANT A PUPPY! I WANT A PUPPY! I WANT A PUPPY! I WANT A PUPPY! I WANT A PUPPY! I WANT A PUPPY! I WANT A PUPPY! I WANT A PUPPY! I WANT A PUPPY! I WANT A PUPPY! I WANT A PUPPY! I WANT A PUPPY! I WANT A PUPPY! I WANT A PUPPY! I WANT A PUPPY! I WANT A PUPPY! I WANT A PUPPY! I WANT A PUPPY! I WANT A PUPPY! I WANT A PUPPY! I WANT A PUPPY! I WANT A PUPPY! haha

Saturday, June 21

kill; jimmy eat world


i want to go to you... funny how i'm nervous still. i've always been the easy kill, i guess i always will. could it be that everything goes 'round by chance? or only one way that it was always meant to be. you kill me, you always know the perfect thing to say. i know what i should do, but i just can't walk away. i can picture your face well from the bar in my hotel, i wish i'd go to you. i pick up put down the phone, it's just like being alone. oh God, please don't tell me this has been in vain, i need answers for what all the waiting i've done means . you kill me, you've got some nerve, but can't face your mistakes. i know what i should do, but i just can't turn away. so go on love, leave while there's still hope for escape. got to take what you can these days. there's so much ahead, so much regret. i know what you want to say, i know it but can't help feeling differently. i loved you, and i should have said it, but tell me just what has it ever meant. i can't help it baby, this is who i am. sorry, but i can't just go turn off how i feel. you kill me, you build me up, but just to watch me break . i know what i should do, but i just can't walk away.

Tuesday, June 17

i feel like bustin loose

i was like, good gracious ass is bodacious
uh, flirtatcious, tryin to show patience
lookin for the right time to shoot my steam
waitin for the right time to flash them keys
then um i'm leavin, please believin
oh, me and the rest of my heathens
check it, got it locked at the top of the four seasons
penthouse, roof top, birds are feedin
no deceivin, nothin up my sleeve and, no teasin
i need you to get up up on the dance floor



Monday, June 16

i used to sleep without a single stir

sydnee is not going to death cab. sad sad sad. 

this week has been okay. went by fast, as usual. hung out with babybrad everyday. hung out with emma a lot too. goood times. i went swimming TWICE! haha. crazy. everything is good. things are getting better. i love brad. i love my family. i love my emma. i hate school. i love life. secrets!

Thursday, June 12

try a little harder, that simply wasnt good enough to make us proud


i'm not giving up.

today was good. no school tomorrow so thats happy. went to brads after school- fell asleep. went home, em's came over got qt. proceeded back to bradley's house. went on a pleasent jog... then swimming! haha. watched movie. and that was my day! my left nostril is in pain! ouchhhh. i cant even explain it. when i breathe in it hurts. like it feels raw. sickk.

"you have tried your best to please everyone but it just isn't happening. no, it just isn't happening. this your blind spot, it should be obvious, but it's not. i don't care what the future holds cause i'm right here and i'm today. with your fingers you can touch me, i'm your black swan, black swan."